Choice Moms: Building Strong Families Together

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Welcome to the new thematic approach to the website. This month's topic:
ANSWERING OUR CHILDREN'S QUESTIONS.

At a Choice Moms gathering in Berkeley last year, the resident experts about "answering the daddy question" and "talking about the donor" were bombarded with questions from workshop participants. Since then, I've been figuring out ways to gather the "best of the best" in responding to the deer-in-headlights feeling we can get when our kids first start asking "do I have a dad?" and as their questioning gets more sophisticated over time: "but how did the donor get the sperm out?"

Here's what I've gathered together so far:

1. The best source about the kinds of questions we face, and how we respond to them, is from other Choice Moms. Listen to one of us in this short clip: a Choice Mom of 3-year-old twins, who has been in a relationship and is dealing with the fact that her daughters want to call the boyfriend "daddy." Recognize how much we can trip ourselves up as we confront these out-of-the-box situations.



2. Let's collect other amusing anecdotes on the website. Use this link to read one, from the Australian Choice Mom of three. Send your anecdotes to me here, and I'll add to the website.

3. The 50-minute CD "Do I Have a Dad?" is now available, and features interviews with four notable experts: long-time Single Mother by Choice leader Jane Mattes, authors/family psychologists Anne Bernstein and Diane Ehrensaft, and Donor Conception Network leader Olivia Montuschi, author of the excellent "Telling and Talking" guides.

4. Listen to the Choice Chat podcast

• NEW Episode 17: Answering the Daddy Question, which is excerpted from the CD.
  
• Episode 18: Accidentally on Purpose: A Conversation with Mary Pols, which is a beautiful reminder of how to keep our eyes on the prize. Yes, it might be difficult to become a mother on our own. Yes, navigating discussions about "daddy" might be tough. But not only do our children learn so much from us, but as Mary discusses, our world opens up so much because of them.
  
  5. Join the online discussion group for Choice Moms.
  
  6. Check out the blogs, where we vent, philosophize, respond and share:
  • Trying: creating a fatherless child, with fear and courage.
    
  • ChoiceMom: women over 40, not wanting sausage.
    
  • Being: owning the holidays.
    
  • Becoming: tips for the newborn stage.
    
  • Waiting: angry about waiting, trying, waiting.
    
  • Thinking: My year-long thinking odyssey.

  
  7. Hear voices from the community. Check out the interview about Choice Motherhood at WeTV.com.
  
  8. Attend a workshop. Plan to visit with us in Washington D.C., Chicago, and at least one other city in 2009. Check for updates in the Events section. If you haven't already voted for a potential workshop city, take a look at the one-question survey and give us your vote today.
  
  9. Sign up for the monthly newsletter at right to be kept updated on these and other new website offerings.
  
  10. Stay up-to-date. Our simple RSS feeds enable you to sign up for automatic notification of the newest blog entries, podcasts and topics that interest you, whether you are in the Thinking, Trying, Waiting, Becoming or Being stages of Choice Motherhood. If you need help with this, or downloading the podcast, contact our website developer.
  
  As always, welcome to the discussion and the journey.

  Choice Moms is a proud sponsor of CARE, which helps mothers and children worldwide.